Friday, May 2, 2008

Stirring Up

I'm cleaning my kitchen and playing a worship cd that is really speaking to me as of late. These songs have been speaking to me in this place of adjusting to my ever-changing life. All week I have been really seeking to answer the question, "Who am I now that I am a Mom? Who am I in the midst of post-partum depression?" As soon as I asked God that question and really sought Him to answer it, His answers are becoming clearer with each passing day. With every change in my life, with every doubt I have of myself, every insecurity, there is one thing I can be sure of... I am His. And there is great comfort in that. A very true and real peace that surpasses all of my understanding. More than that, an understanding of His grace being absolutely sufficient for me and feeling His strength encompassing me in my weaknesses. I don't have to be whole, because He is.

I am encouraged, I am stirred up, I am alive and full of joy - in Christ.

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
They say, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust" Psalm 91:1-2

5 comments:

Suzy Colon said...

I guess I don't have to tell you how much pressure I've been getting as of late to start having kids. But one of the really huge road blocks of mine was the fear of post-partum depression and what lasting effects that it would have on my emotional state as a whole. I just wanted to say Thank you for being so up front with your challenges. It is giving me hope that maybe having kids won't be the end of the world for me. Because I know that God is faithful and if He doesn't leave you on your own to figure everything out, he won't forsake me either. I'm not saying that I'm going to start trying, but I know that when it is God's timing I can have that much more peace about it.
Oh, BTW, I finally added you to my blog roll. I read your blogs all the time, but I can't do it from work because it is blocked.

The Stockwells said...

Thank you so much for your honesty with your PPD. Its so encouraging to read the struggle and victories that you have had.
Its actually never crossed my mind that I could get it after having kids but it sure is some thing I am glad that I am aware of now....because if it did happen I want to be aware.
Your awesome!

Josh Mickelson said...

I guess I can’t 100% relate because, well, I can’t have babies, but reading about this was encouraging to me. I have gone through bouts of depression before, and I agree with you, the only place I find rest is in Him. I am very grateful that I have a Creator that loves me so.

Evan Kuzava said...

That verse was a common theme during worship and praise these last two weeks in Jamaica... i heard it multiple times in song, and prayer and sermon.

thatgirlkate said...

Is the Cd that you have been listening to lately the new Brooke Fraser cd? That cd is really amazing, thank you for burning it for us. and thank you for being real, teresa. I have SO much respect for who you are and how you purse truth and God in every circumstance. you are amazing and I am so thankful to call you my friend. love you!!!